10. Play the Victim

One of the biggest reasons racism exists is that black people love playing the victim. It has been one of the favorite Negro pastimes ever since Africans locked themselves in chains, stowed away on American cruise ships and crossed the Atlantic Ocean. Apparently, we are so in love with this dangerous activity, we are willing to subject our bodies to bullets and police batons just to participate in our own victimhood. We have passed it down through generations by naming our children whatever the fuck we want, in hopes that employers will continue the practice of throwing their résumés in the trash. None of this is white people’s fault. It is black people’s fault because, by pointing out systemic inequalities like wage discrimination, school funding and disparities in the criminal-justice system, we waste valuable time not working twice as hard as our white counterparts to get half as much.